Trust Issues: Set Free From Hurt - Sermon by Pastor Ken, Cypress Church

When trust is broken in a relationship, the emotional wounds can deeply impact our mental and emotional well-being.

Pastor Ken explores how these wounds, if left unaddressed, can lead to lasting bitterness, isolation, and the belief that we are somehow broken. He emphasizes that time alone does not heal these wounds; instead, it is through the intentional act of forgiveness that we open the door to true healing.

By choosing to forgive, we allow ourselves to move forward, creating healthy boundaries and embracing a new reality, which is essential for maintaining good mental health. Pastor Ken’s message highlights the importance of addressing hurt with grace and understanding, helping us rebuild trust and fostering emotional resilience.

PASTOR KEN, CYPRESS CHURCH - We've all been hurt and we've all been wounded, but we've not all been healed. The question we're going to tackle today is what happens? What does it look like? And what are my options when trust has been diminished or broken in my life or in a relationship, which is something every one of us has experienced.

I've told you guys so many times, I am much more of a visual learner, and I started drawing a chart and I want to share the chart with you in different sections. And the chart begins with all of us. You're in a relationship. It can be a work relationship with your boss, it can be a relationship with a good friend. It could be your spouse, it could have been your ex. I mean, we've all been in a relationship and it's going fine. At least we think it's going fine until it happened and whatever it is.

When that happened, it went downhill. And when things go downhill, the trust is damaged. It's diminished at times. The trust is completely broken. It's been completely destroyed. We're angry. We feel hurt. And often it's the depth of relationship is the exact equivalent to the depth of anger or the depth of hurt that we feel.

Like if the cashier at some random convenience store lies to you. I mean, you're like, "Oh, come on man." You're upset about it. But it did it like, "Oh, I can't believe you told me these are on sale. And they're not." It bothers you, but not really. But if it's someone that you love, someone that you trust, someone that you're like, "No, I thought we had each other's back, and I can't believe it." Then the pain and the anger and the hurt, it's deep. It's very deep.

And when you experience that kind of trust has been diminished and damaged or utterly devastated or destroyed in your life, you only have two options at that point because you now have it and you feel it. And the first option, unfortunately, is many people just settle in. And when some people settle into the hurt and the relationship that hurt and that pain becomes the lens or the grid through which they live the rest of their lives. And listen, sometimes you start believing the lie that you tell yourself and you say, "Well, I'm just damaged goods."

It's not just the relationships broken. I must be broken. Maybe there's something wrong with me. And then we put up walls because we're hurting. And when we put up walls, we're distancing ourself from other people and we're cutting ourselves off from love and the ability to heal, and we carry the hurt. And sometimes it's recent, sometimes we're in the midst of it. Listen, sometimes it's something that happened so long ago, the person who hurt us is not even alive anymore, but yet we're still carrying that woundedness and it impacts every part of our lives.

Can I share with you one of the greatest lies known to all mankind? And it's simply that: time heals all wounds. That's a lie. You get stabbed in the back, you're going to bleed out. And if you don't bleed out, you're going to get something called an infection. And infection will slowly kill you. Time does not heal all wounds.

I'll tell you what does heal wounds. And it does require time. It's the second option. And the second option is when you choose to forgive the person who hurt you. That's what opens up the door that you can experience healing in your own life. And to forgive someone. We'll talk about this. It's not like, "Hey, it's all okay. It never happened." No, it did happen. But what it does it mean, is to forgive, which I'll explain. But then that's the prerequisite for healing so that you can go forward.

And it's not like, "Okay, I forgive you." Boom. Everything's back exactly the way it was. No, that's not true. There's healthy boundaries put in place, and you'll notice on the chart where you end up is: a new reality. So you're a different person because of what you've gone through. And even if you're in the same relationship with the person who hurt or damaged the trust for you, it's a new relationship. It's a new reality and everything is different.

Now, lemme point out one other thing that wasn't on the chart, is reconciliation. Reconciliation doesn't even fit on this chart. That would be on the next chart if it's even a possibility to reconcile. And we'll talk about that next week. Because what often happens in a relationship, there's a measure of trust, there's a measure of love. One party or the other does something, says something that hurts or diminishes the trust. They say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please take me back. Let's just get back together. Let's just start all over. Act like it never happened." And if you don't go through the processes and the stages of dealing with the hurt, dealing with the dis and the mistrust, there is nothing to come back to at that particular moment. And thats work relationships, family relationships, married relationships, literally every relationship.

So what I want to cover today are three specific steps. What do you do when damage has been hurt or diminished in a relationship. And I'm going to say out of the gate first: There's no cookie cutter answer. Every situation's a little unique. Every situation's a little different. There's things that need to be processed, but there are biblical principles we can apply that are true in every situation. All right, so let's dive in here.

To hear the rest of Pastor Ken's sermon on trust, please visit Cypress' YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCPC100xZOo